i need help about abuse of an orphan. - Printable Version +- Forums (https://bb.islamsms.com) +-- Forum: ENGLISH (https://bb.islamsms.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=5) +--- Forum: Woman and family (https://bb.islamsms.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=18) +--- Thread: i need help about abuse of an orphan. (/showthread.php?tid=10079)

i need help about abuse of an orphan. - atifa - 08-12-2003 Assalamualilkum. dear sisters and brothers. i hope my few lines reaches you all in the best of health, as it leave me here quite well. Alhamdulilah. well i am mother of 4 children, and i adope a girl when she was 2 years old, and now she is 14 Alhamdulilah. i have a very sad problem and i really need help on this, i went on a holiday for a month and i leave all my children home with their dad, and when i came back my Daughter told me that she thinks something is wrong between the adopted child and my father, and i ask her and she said yes, your husband feel me up, but did not had sex with her, i took her to the doctor and their was not sign of abuse. when i ask my husband if he did it and he said yes. and he is sorry about that. please i neeed help, what should i do ? because i am planing to leave him. so please help me out and tell me what to do? as a muslim. Assalamualilkum.waiting or answers insha allah. i need help about abuse of an orphan. - Ali - 08-13-2003 Walaikumusalam I am very saddened. But a matter which is very important is that even though you've adopted the girl, she isn't mehram to your husband. And do not leave her alone with your husband in any circumstance. If necessary leave her, with your parents etc. Also tell the girl to be cautious around your husband. This is a related case I found on the islam-qa site. Question: [b:38e100a00c]My uncle(mother's brother) used to come to my house once in a while. i have been molested by him when i was about 12. That time i didn't know how to handle it. i couln't tell it to my mother as i was scared. After i crossed 15 he stopped. this has been troubling me for a long time. i never mentioned about this to anyone. sometimes i cry thinking about it. is their any dua that would help me here. one thing i know is i didn't commit any sin here expect for not telling my parents. and Allah knows how much this incident has affected my soul.. [/b:38e100a00c] Answer: Praise be to Allaah. Undoubtedly what your uncle did is a crime that deserves punishment in this world and torment in the Hereafter. Many people’s religious conscience has been weakened by what they see and read, which provokes their desire, so they fulfil their desires in ways that Allaah has forbidden. One of the most abhorrent and evil examples of that is incest between a man and his mahrams (female relatives to whom marriage is forbidden), which is deserving of a severe punishment in the Hereafter. Your mistake was not telling anyone in your family so that they could put a stop to what this uncle was doing. But because that is in the past and has now ended, and you hated the situation from the outset, there is no sin on you now. You have to try to forget the evil thing that he did, and learn a lesson from it for the future, for yourself and your children. We advise you to pray to Allaah and ask Him to relieve you of your worry and take away your distress. Some du’aa’s that have been narrated in the Sunnah are as follows: (a) It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to say: “Allaahumma inni a’oodhu bika min al-hamm wa’l-hazn wa’l-‘ajz wa’l-kasal wa’l-bukhl wa’l-jubn wa dala’ al-dayn wa ghalbat al-rijaal (O Allaah, I seek refuge with You from distress, grief, incapacity, laziness, miserliness, cowardice, the burden of debt and from being overpowered by men).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 6008. Ibn Hajar said: The interpretation of these things is: “distress” means bad things that the mind imagines are happening at present; “grief” for what has happened in the past; “incapacity” is the opposite of ability; “laziness” is the opposite of being energetic; “miserliness” is the opposite of generosity; “cowardice” is the opposite of courage. Fath al-Baari. ( It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no-one who is afflicted by distress and grief, and says: ‘Allaahumma inni ‘abduka ibn ‘abdika ibn amatija naasyati bi yadika, maada fiyya hukmuka, ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka. As’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw ista’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghayb ‘indaka an taj’al al-Qur’aana rabee’ qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa’ huzni wa dhihaab hammi (O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your maidservant; my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every name belonging to You which You have named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the Unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety),’ but Allaah will take away his distress and grief, and replace it with joy.” He was asked: “O Messenger of Allaah, should we learn this?” He said: “Of course; everyone who hears it should learn it.” Narrated by Ahmad, 3704; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 199. So do not give in to the pain of the past and forget yourself. You have to keep yourself busy with acts of obedience to Allaah, such as memorizing Qur’aan, reading books of knowledge and the biographies of the righteous salaf, and look for good friends. We ask Allaah to bless you with that and more. And Allaah is the Source of strength. Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com) -- Ali i need help about abuse of an orphan. - Muslimah - 08-13-2003 As Salam Alykom Praise be to Allah and prayer and peace be upon His Messenger Mohamed Insh a Allah will tell what I know about adoption in light of Quran. Adoption is not permissible by Quran, in other words you are not allowed to adopt a boy or a girl and give them your husband name making them real children, they are not allowed to inherit as well. Many people fall into this problem out of mercy. But because Allah knows human beings, this is the result. A non mehrem is not supposed to live with you in the house. Wallahu a`alam, I heard in a similar case that if u do want to support an orphan, well, you take him/her to your house until they reach maturity, then provide an alernative place for them where at the same time u can keep an eye on them. I suggest that in your particular case, before leaving your husband because having the girl on the first place, was wrong on your side, ask a scholar. Allah u a`alam, your husband is just a human being, and she is not his daughter, she is not haram for him, and being alone with her, the Shaytan was able to affect him. So take an execuse for him, may Allah forgive him. Ask a scholar because this situation is not correct from an Islamic viewpoint, wallahu a`alam. i need help about abuse of an orphan. - Ali - 08-13-2003 In an Islamic state the khaleefa overall is responsible of making orphanages etc. But we do not have an islamic state -- Ali i need help about abuse of an orphan. - -Abdullah- - 08-13-2003 ive always heard that its fine to adopt as long as u let them know ur not the real parents :? :shock: i need help about abuse of an orphan. - Ali - 08-14-2003 The link http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&ds=q...e&QR=5201&dgn=3 Discusses the matter in profound detail. -- Ali