Guidelines for the Husband in Interacting with his Wife

1. There must be certain etiquettes placed in order to control and regulate the family relations. ... 79.5 KB

2. There must be certain etiquettes placed in order to control and regulate the family relations. ...1.6 MB



<div style="margin-left:25px"> The family is that brick which forms the foundation of a society. It is composed of individuals that have permanent relations established between them. Most importantly, it possesses almost a majority of the different kinds of personal relations. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> Because of this, there must be certain etiquettes placed in order to control and regulate these relations. This is such that it can be maintained in the best possible manner, and so that it can generate and produce its proper fruits. Family relations consist of the relationship between the spouses from one perspective, the relationship between the parents and the children from a second perspective, and the relationship between the children themselves from a third perspective. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> </div><div style="margin-left:25px">Etiquettes of the husband:</div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 1. It is not from the deficiencies, but rather from good manners, that the husband shares in the responsibility of specified matters, such as the mending of garments or what is similar to that. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 2. It is appropriate for a man to not restrict himself from serving himself. This is since the wife takes care of the household affairs. So therefore, it is from good manners that the husband extend a helping hand to his wife in the house, during times of necessity, such as when she is sick, pregnant, has given birth or similar to that. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 3. The exemplary husband is he who cooperates with his wife by bearing good relations and showing kind manners (to her), according to the full extent of the meaning contained in these (last) two expressions. Truly, the husbands who are best at working alongside their wives are the best of mankind in the view of Islaam. This good way of living between the spouses must be deeply imbedded into the daily marital life, even at the time of divorce. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 4. Beware of characterizing the relationship between the spouses with over-seriousness! For indeed characterizing the family life with a militaristic nature amounts to one of the causes for failure and bad results. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 5. From the kind and noble manners of the husband is that he complies and assents to the requests of his wife, so long as they are not forbidden in the Religion. And being luxurious in food, drink and clothing is at the entrance of matters forbidden in the Religion. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 6. The husband should specify a time in which he can play around and pass free time with his wife. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 7. The relationship between the spouses must contain one singular and specific nature. And it cannot be this way unless the couple begins demolishing all the obstacles and impediments that stand between them. For example, the husband should not feel timid and restrain himself from drinking out of the same cup that his wife drinks out of. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 8. There is no human being that is perfect. So there is no doubt that the husband will see things in his wife that does not comply with his natural disposition and preferences. If these aspects are not in opposition to the fundaments of the Religion or to the obedience of the husband and his rights, then at that point, he should not try to change her personality so that it complies with his natural preference. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 9. And he must always remember that for each member of the couple, there will be an aspect of ones personality that conflicts with the others personality. And he should also remember that if there are some characteristics that he doesn't find pleasing in his wife, then indeed she has other characteristics, which will definitely be pleasing to him. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 10. Do not let Ramadaan be a barrier that impedes you from showing affection to your wife, such as by kissing her. But this is so long as you are able to refrain yourself, since what is forbidden during the days of Ramadaan is only sexual intercourse. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 11. Do not chase after the errors of your wife and recount them to her, for too much blaming and reprimanding will worsen the relationship between the two of you, and it will pose a threat to your marital life. So overlook your wife's easy ability to make mistakes, and make her falling into them seem like something small. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 12. If you are able, do not hold back from providing your wife with good clothing and food, and from being generous in spending money on her. This is of course according to the extent of your ability. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 13. Do not give little importance to implementing the punishment required for any acts in opposition to the Religion, which your wife has committed, whether it is in the home or outside it. This should be the main reason that causes you to become angry, thus no other reason should affect you (besides this one). </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 14. What has been stated previously does not mean that you should leave matters alone until that result comes to happen. Thus, whenever you realize that a matter is left alone, weigh it with seriousness and determination, without being too harsh or rude about it. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 15. The woman is the head of the household, the one responsible for it. So do not attempt to meddle into affairs that do not fall into your area of duties and responsibilities, such as the food and the order of the house. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 16. Beware of scolding your wife or blaming her for a mistake she committed, in the presence of others, even if they are your own children. For indeed that is an act that goes against correct behavior and it will lead to raising anger in the hearts of people. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 17. If you are forced to place punishment upon your wife, then let it be by staying away from her at bedtime. And do not boycott her except that it is done within the household. And avoid using foul language, insulting her, beating her and describing her with repulsive names. For these matters do not befit an exemplary husband. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 18. Having jealousy and caring about the modesty of your wife is a praiseworthy thing, which shows your love for her. However it is on the condition that you do not go to great extremes in this jealousy. For then at that point, it would turn into something worthy of no praise. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 19. Entering the house: Do not alarm your family by entering upon them suddenly. Rather, enter while they are aware of it, and greet them with Salaam. And ask about them and how they are doing. And do not forget to remember Allaah, the Mighty and Sublime, when you enter the house. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 20. Beware of spreading any secrets connected with the intimate encounters you have with your wife, for that is something restricted and forbidden. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 21. Constantly maintain the cleaning of your mouth and the freshening of your breath. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 22. Guardianship of your wife doesn't mean that you can exploit what Allaah has bestowed upon you from taking charge of her, such that you harm and oppress her. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 23. Showing respect and kindness to your wife's family is showing respect and kindness to her. And this applies even after her death, on the condition that it is not accompanied by an act forbidden in the Religion, such as intermingling of the sexes or being in privacy (with them). </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 24. Too much joking will lead to (your family having) little fear (of disobeying you) and a lack of respect for you. So do not joke too much with your wife. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 25. Be considerate that fulfilling the conditions which you promised to your wife during the pre-marriage agreement is a matter possessing the highest of importance and priority. So do not neglect that after getting married. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 26. When you lecture your wife or reprimand her or simply speak to her, choose the kindest and nicest of words and expressions for your speech. And do not reprimand her in front of others or in front of your children. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 27. It is not proper for you to ask your wife to look for work outside of the house or to spend upon you from her wealth. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 28. Do not overburden your wife with acts that she is not able to handle. Consider, with extreme regard, the environment she was raised up in. Rural service is not like urban service, and the service of a strong woman and her preparation for it is not like the service of a weak woman. </div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> 29. There is nothing in the obligation of a woman's service to her husband that negates his assisting her in that regard, if he should find the free time. Rather, this is from the good manners of living between the spouses.</div>

<div style="margin-left:25px"> This discussion will continue in an upcoming issue, if Allaah wills.</div>

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Pearls of Wisdom

by the Esteemed Shaykh Dr. Sa'ad Ibn Naser ash Shethree (Saudi Arabia)

Tayyibun Institute in conjuction with Knowledge International University have the great pleasure and honour of hosting one of the senior scholars of our time from Saudi Arabia - Shaykh Dr. Sa'ad Ibn Naser ash Shethree to share some pearls of wisdom including Q&A.

The esteemed Shaykh Dr. Sa'ad Ibn Naser ash Shethree is the founder of Knowledge International University, and former member of the 'Council of Senior Ulamaa' Saudi Arabia. Shaykh Sa'ad holds a doctorate in the field of Islamic Jurisprudence Methodology. He is also the author of several books explaining intricate topics found in the various Islamic Sciences and has revised, authenticated, and explained a large number of texts. His presence and calibre in the field of Da'wah and Islamic education is experienced across the globe.

DATE/TIME: Thursday the 22nd December 2011 / 5.30pm

VENUE: Tayyibun Tarbiyyah Centre, 1st Floor (25 Hessel Street, London E1).

*Free entry and food provided, all brothers welcome at the venue.

*Sisters and students outside of London can join us via Tayyibun Online www.tayyibunonline.com

As-Salamu Alaykum (peace be upon you),

THE IMPORTANCE OF THE SUNNAH

The Linguistic Meaning of Sunnah

Sunnah in the Arabic language (without any religious context) means a way or method which can have two states, either a good Sunnah or a bad Sunnah.

Religious Meaning of Sunnah

Another context in which the word Sunnah is used is whatever was reported that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, did, or permitted to do. These are recorded in the Hadiths.

Sunnah is Needed to Understand Islam

The Companions of the Prophet (peace be upon him) used to take the ruling on different matters in their lives from the Quran, which they learnt from the Prophet (peace be upon him). In many instances, the Ayat (verses) of the Quran treat a subject in a general manner without a specific condition. Sometimes the Ayat (verse) will come as an absolute ruling without any precondition or limitation required by time, place, etc.

Salah (prayer) is a good example of this. The Quran does not mention how many Rak'ahs (units of prayer) we should make, or how to physically move during prayer, or the time for prayer.

Many times, the Companions faced situation that were not addressed in the Quran, and so there was a need to turn to the Prophet (peace be upon him) to know the ruling of such matters. It was the Prophet who was ordered by Allah to teach humanity, and it is the Prophet who is the most knowledgeable of mankind about that which Allah expects from us.

Allah said: "And We have sent down to you the Message; that you may explain clearly to men what is sent for them, and that they may give thought." [Noble Quran 16:44]

Allah also made it clear to us that the duty of the Prophet (peace be upon him) is to clarify the truth to people when there is a dispute:

"And We sent down the Book to you for the express purpose, that you should make clear to them those things in which they differ, and that it should be a guide and a mercy to those who believe." [Noble Quran 16:64]

Rights of The Prophet (peace be upon him)

1. Rights of the Prophet are the most important, after the rights of Allah. There is no human who has more rights than the Prophet. Allah said:

"Verily, We have sent you (O Muhammad) as a witness, as a bearer of glad tidings, and as a Warner. In order that you (O mankind) may believe in Allah and His Messenger, and that you assist and honor him (Muhammad)..." [Noble Quran 48:8-9]

2. Love for the Prophet should be more than one's love for himself, his children, family and worldly possessions. The Prophet said, what translated means:

"None of you will reach belief till I become dearer to him than his children, parents and all humans." [bukhari & Muslim].

3. Respect and appreciation for him should be practiced in the best manner. Respecting the Prophet includes respect of and adherence to his Sunnah after his death. Due rights should be given to the Prophet without exaggeration. When one reads how the companions used to love and respect the Prophet, one knows the importance of this matter.

When Quraysh (the Prophet's tribe) sent Urwah Ibn Mas'ud to negotiate with the Prophet in the Hudaybiyah area, he was greatly impressed by how the companions treated the Prophet. He said,

"I have visited the kings of Persia, Rome and Abyssinia, but I have not seen any leader more revered and respected by his people than Muhammad. If he ordered them to do anything, they do it without delay. If he performs Wudu` (washing up for prayer) they all seek the remainder of the water he used. They never look at him in the eye, out of respect."

This is how the Prophet was treated by his companions. He was Allah's Messenger who possessed great qualities and the best of conduct ever.

4. Believing him in matters of religion and the past, present and future happenings he told us about. Adherence and submission to his orders are some of his rights. When a Muslim believes in the Prophet and wants to follow his religion, he must do so believing that the Prophet's way is the best way. Believing in the Prophet includes the affirmation that his religion is the best religion.

"Say (O Muhammad to mankind): If you love Allah then you follow me, Allah will love you and forgive you your sins. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." [Noble Quran 3:31]

Obligation to Follow The Prophet (peace be upon him)

1. It is an order by Allah to take the Prophet (peace be upon him) as the judge in all matters.

"But no, by the Lord, they can have no (real) Faith, until they make you judge in all disputes between them, and find in their souls no resistance against your decisions, but accept them with the fullest conviction." [Noble Quran 4:65]

2. Allah also mentioned that the Prophet (peace be upon him) was given the Quran and Wisdom to teach people the regulations of their religion:

"Allah did confer a great favor on the believers when He sent among them an apostle from among themselves, rehearsing to them the Signs of Allah, sanctifying them, and instructing them in Scripture and Wisdom, while, before that, they had been in manifest error." [Noble Quran 3:164]

3. Those who follow the Prophet (peace be upon him) are the ones who prosper as Allah said:

"Those who follow the apostle, the unlettered Prophet, whom they find mentioned in their own (scriptures),- in the law and the Gospel;- for he commands them what is just and forbids them what is evil; he allows them as lawful what is good (and pure) and prohibits them from what is bad (and impure); He releases them from their heavy burdens and from the yokes that are upon them. So it is those who believe in him, honor him, help him, and follow the light which is sent down with him - it is they who will prosper." [Noble Quran 7:157]

4. Direct order from Allah to follow what the Prophet (peace be upon him) orders is found in this Ayat:

"...And whatsoever the Messenger (Muhammad) gives you, take it, and whatsoever he forbids you, abstain (from it), and fear Allah. Verily, Allah is severe in punishment." [Noble Quran 59:7]

5. Allah has also made the obedience of The Prophet (peace be upon him) in conjunction with the obedience to Him:

"And obey Allah and the Messenger, that you may obtain mercy." [Noble Quran 3:132] and "He who obeys the Messenger, obeys Allah." [Noble Quran 4:80]

6. Allah warned us from not following the instructions of the Prophet (peace be upon him):

"Then let those beware who withstand the Messenger's order, lest some trial befall them, or a grievous penalty be inflicted on them." [Noble Quran 24:63]

7. Allah told us that disobeying the Prophet (peace be upon him) is Kufr (disbelief):

"Say: Obey Allah and His Messenger.: But if they turn back, Allah love not those who reject Faith." [Noble Quran 3:32]

8. It was never allowed by Allah (that a believer disobey the Prophet (peace be upon him) order:

"It is not fitting for a Believer, man or woman, when a matter has been decided by Allah and His Messenger to have any option about their decision: if any one disobeys Allah and His Messenger, he is indeed on a clearly wrong Path." [Quran 33:36]

9. Not following the ruling of the Prophet (peace be upon him) when a dispute occurs is a sign of hypocrisy, Allah says:

"They say, We believe in Allah and in the apostle, and we obey; but even after that, some of them turn away; they are not (really) Believers. When they are summoned to Allah and His apostle, in order that He may judge between them, behold some of them decline (to come)....The answer of the Believers, when summoned to Allah and His Messenger, in order that He may judge between them, is no other than this: they say, "We hear and we obey"; it is such as these that will attain felicity." [Quran 24:47-51]

Khadejah Jones

Share Islam Team

ShareIslam.com

http://islamsms.com/bb/index.php?showtopic=5427

by Muhammad Alshareef

After groups of people had become Muslim, Abu Bakr radi Allahu anhu insisted to RasulAllah sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam that they, the Muslims, declare their Islam publicly and not hide. RasulAllah finally agreed and as a group they entered the courtyard of the Ka'bah, each taking a corner, and called out to the people about Islam. Abu Bakr radi Allahu anhu was the first khateeb to invite to Allah and His Messenger.

When the mob sitting there heard Abu Bakr radi Allahu anhu and the others speaking about Allah and Islam, they ignited in anger and began stoning and beating the Muslims. Utbah pounced on Abu Bakr radi Allahu anhu with his leather sandals, slapping him repeatedly in the face until Abu Bakr radi Allahu anhu was knocked down. He then fell on top of Abu Bakr radi Allahu anhu punching him in the stomach and continued the facial blows. Abu Bakr's tribe finally peeled Utbah off of him and swore that if Abu Bakr died, they were going to chop off Utbah's head in revenge. Abu Bakr laid in blood, his face indiscernible, unconscious.

It was only upon nightfall that Abu Bakr radi Allahu anhu began to show signs of life. Do you know what the first words he spoke were? "What happened to RasulAllah? What happened to RasulAllah?" His mother offered him food but he refused. "I shall not touch food until I am taken to RasulAllah and am reassured that he is alright."

They carried him to Daar Al-Arqam and when he entered, RasulAllah cried at the state that Abu Bakr radi Allahu anhu was in and hugged him. He held the hug as the Muslims gathered around.

Role Models. In his book Risaalat Al-Mu'allim, Jamal Abideen tells us that at the age of 2 – perhaps earlier – the boy or girl begins habitually imitating all that they see. At the age of 5 or 6 – when the child is in kindergarten and grade 1 – they reach a climax in imitating anything that they see, good or bad. Then this habit of imitating smoothes out but continues to play the most vital role in the child's upbringing.

Ibn Khaldoon writes in his Muqaddimah about this issue: "Children are influenced most by a role model. In their early years, children think that everything that adults do is correct and good and that their parents are the best amongst the adults and the most perfect."

Children do not learn by being told, they learn by example. How much weight does a commandment to a child to fast have when the parent or teacher himself is eating a sandwich? For this reason, it is something hated and despised by Allah that a person should command good and he himself do other than what he commands. For indeed, his words will have little worth when the two – his actions and commandments - are contradictory.

Whatsoever is in the heavens and whatsoever is on the earth glorifies Allah. And He is the All-Mighty, the All-Wise / O you who believe! Why do you say that which you do not do? / Most hateful it is with Allah that you say that which you do not do (Al-Saff 61/1-3).

And in Saheeh Muslim, the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam said:

"A man will be brought on the Day of Resurrection and be thrown into Hellfire. The inhabitants of Hellfire shall gather around him and say, ‘O so and so! What is wrong? Were you not the one that would tell people to do good and tell them to stay away from doing bad?’ He shall say, ‘Yes, I used to command people to do good but I would not do it myself, and I would command people to stay away from bad and I myself would commit it.'"

The severity of this warning stems from the harmful scars that cut into a child's personality when he sees his role models doing wrong and not doing what's right. By us not following what we claim to believe in, we could be causing the destruction of dozens of lives on the Day of Resurrection.

It is in this search for our role models that we turn to the shining light, Abu Bakr as Siddeeq radi Allahu anhu. When the Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam received the first revelations, the first man he approached was his best friend, Abu Bakr. When Abu Bakr radi Allahu anhu heard that Muhammad had been chosen as a Prophet, he immediately announced, "I've never tasted a lie from you. I testify that there is no God but Allah, and you are the Messenger of Allah." RasulAllah later said, "There is no one that I have spoken to about Islam that did not debate the issue with me except Abu Bakr."

With the few verses that he knew, Abu Bakr radi Allahu anhu set off to invite to this deen of Al-Islam. Soon, he was escorting by the hand the likes of Uthman, Az-Zubayr, Abd ArRahmaan ibn ‘Owf, Sa'd, Abu ‘Ubaidah, and Talha – six of the ten people who were promised Jannah during their time on earth. And on the Day of Resurrection they shall all be written in the book of Abu Bakr's good works.

In the early days of Islam, Abu Bakr radi Allahu anhu would walk around the markets and homes observing all the Muslim slaves that were being tortured. He would watch as Umayyah dragged Bilal out to the grilling desert at noontime, the hottest moments of the day. Umayyah would press Bilal to the scalding ground and place a boulder on top of his chest to increase the torture. Bilal would say nothing but, "Ahad, Ahad (One, only One)." Abu Bakr would watch and whisper to Bilal, "YunJeeka AlWaahidul Ahad (The One [Allah] shall save you)."

Abu Bakr went to Umayyah and requested that he sell Bilal to him for 5 uwqiyyah of gold. Umayyah was astonished at that amount and hurriedly agreed. "Take Bilal. There is no good in him."

After the deal was done, Umayyah snickered, "Had you refused to pay more than 1 uwqiyyah I still would have sold him to you."

And Abu Bakr announced, "And had you refused to sell him for no less than 100 uwqiyyah I still would have bought him!"

Evil wishers – like always – spread rumors about Abu Bakr’s freeing of Bilal, saying that he did it only because of a favor he owed him. In the Qur’an, in verses to be recited till the end of time, Allah lay clear the intentions of Abu Bakr:

He who spends his wealth for increase in self-purification, / And have in his mind no favor from anyone for which a reward is expected in return, / Except only the desire to seek the Countenance of his Lord, the Most High; / He surely will be pleased [when he will enter Paradise] (Al-Layl 92/18-21).

Read that last verse again. Allah is telling Abu Bakr radi Allahu anhu that he is going to make him satisfied. Allahu Akbar! Imagine if Allah told you that. Would anything in the world be more valuable to you than that one ayah?

This was Abu Bakr; this was Khaleefatu Rasulillaah. When ‘Amr ibn Al- Aas became Muslim, RasulAllah appointed him as a leader for one of the Muslim armies. ‘Amr believed that this could only be so because RasulAllah sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam loved him the most. So after the army had returned, ‘Amr went and sat by RasulAllah sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam and asked him a question out loud so that everyone would hear the answer. He asked, “Who do you love the most?”

RasulAllah replied, "Aisha," his wife.

Startled, ‘Amr asked, "No, no, from the men who?"

He said, "Her father!" Abu Bakr, radi Allahu anhu.

PART II: Who are our Role Models?

Have you ever sat with your children or some Muslim neighbor's children? Give them a basketball and lower the rim for them and listen to what they say. All – with a few exceptions – will call out the name of a kafir basketball player as they take the shot. You'll hear the name of Michael Jordan shouted out and others, a name that comes from their heart as they slam the ball in glee.

Listen carefully; they are innocently calling to the world, "I wanna be a kafir basketball player, just like that kafir Jordan." Don't be surprised when they reach university, after they've lost their precious youth, that they can spit a ball into a basket with unbelievable precision, yet they cannot read Al-Fatiha without fumbling like a baby. On the Day of Resurrection, these entertainment idols shall disown all those that took them as role models and imitated their sins. Interestingly, Reebok advertised one of these entertainment idols dunking a ball and at the end of the commercial he walks to the camera and says, "Just because I dunk a ball doesn't mean I have to raise your kids." Subhan Allah, if children and parents only understood what he said.

Look at the real models and the children that took them as their models. Aisha narrates that RasulAllah used to visit them in the mornings and in the evenings. But one day he came at noon time – a time that signified something different was happening. Abu Bakr radi Allahu anhu opened the door and RasulAllah announced that Allah had given him permission to do Hijrah to Madinah. Abu Bakr bounced out, "Together, Yaa RasulAllah, together!"

And Rasul Allah replied, "Together."

Abu Bakr began to cry. Aisha comments, "I never believed that someone could cry from happiness until I saw my father that day cry when he found out he would be doing Hijrah with RasulAllah."

Look at the Hijrah incident and you shall see that all the characters involved other than Abu Bakr were children. Aisha and her brother Abd ArRahmaan. Asmaa was slapped in the face by Abu Jahl when she refused to tell him where her father was. The guide that took them to Madinah was also a young boy. Subhan Allah, these children grew up to be amongst the greatest humans to ever walk this earth. How not when they had the greatest role models – RasulAllah and Abu Bakr.

After over 10 years of da'wah and jihaad in Madinah, when RasulAllah passed away, 'Umar called all the people, sharpened his sword and spoke. "Muhammad is not dead. He went to his Lord as Musa went to his Lord and he shall come back as Musa did. When he does, he shall kill all those who said he was dead."

News reached Abu Bakr of the Prophet's death. He prepared himself and galloped on his horse to RasulAllah's home. There, RasulAllah lay covered in a cloth. Abu Bakr raised the cloth and kissed RasulAllah saying, "Tibta Hayyan wa Mayyitan (You are blessed in life and in death)." He then stepped outside as 'Umar was addressing the people. "Sit down 'Umar," said Abu Bakr. He then praised Allah and began, "Whoever worships Muhammad let him know that Muhammad is dead, and whoever Allah let him know that Allah is alive and never dies." He then recited the verse:

Muhammad is nothing more than a Messenger. Messengers came and went before him. If he dies or is killed shall you turn on your heels?

'Umar said, "When I heard that verse, my knees became soft as I fell. I knew that RasulAllah had died."

Soon after that, Abu Bakr sent out the army of Usama. Usama was 18 at that time, the age of one of our youth in grade 12. He led an entire Muslim army, fought the Romans and came home victorious, breeding fear in all those that wanted to attack the Muslims in Madinah.

As Usama was leaving Madinah, Abu Bakr was escorting his horse as he walked along side it. Usama said, "You shall ride with me or I shall come down and walk."

But Abu Bakr refused saying, "You shall not come down and I shall not ride. What harm does it bring me that I should dust my feet in the cause of Allah for an hour of the day." Indeed, Usama reached this position because he had role models like Abu Bakr.

Muslims understood the seriousness of the role models their children had. ‘Amr ibn Utbah rahimahullah advised his son's teacher, "Let the first correction you do to my son be the correction of yourself. Verily, their eyes are locked into yours. Good to them is what you do, even if it is bad. And bad to them is what you do not do, even if it is good."

Many parents have understood this issue of finding the correct role models for their children. Here is an example that we conclude with: In a kindergarten classroom, a non-Muslim teacher sat with the students and asked each one what they want to be when they grow up. One said, "I want to be a policeman." The other announced, "I want to be a fireman." Then a Muslim boy in the crowd spoke up, "I want to be a Sahaabee!" A what?

When parent teacher conferences came up, the teacher asked the parents about this Sahaabee that their son wanted to be when he grew up. They said, "Whenever we have the chance we read stories of the Prophet's companions to him. They have become his role models. And when he becomes older he wants to be just like the Sahaabaa."

Isn't that what we want for our kids too?

Narrated under the authority of Emirul Mo`mneen, Abi Hafs O`mar Ibn Alkhattab that he said: I heard the Messenger of Allah say: "Deeds are based on the Niyah (intention), and each person shall be treated according to his Niyah, therefore, one who intended his Hijrah (immigration) to Allah and His Messenger, his Hijrah shall be accounted as such, and one who intended his Hijrah because of worldly affairs he desires to attain, or a woman he wants to marry, his Hijrah shall be accounted for what he aimed for" (Reported by Bukhari).

Bismillah

as salam alykom brothers and sisters,

One year already elapsed, may Allah Makes the coming one a blessed one. Each year, I stop and ponder on the whole situation of the Hijra trip that our beloved Messenger salla Allah a`lyhee wa sallam took together with his companion Abu Bakr may Allah be pleased with him, the difficulties they endured, the risks they took, the planning they had to make, leave alone the 11 year old boy replacing the Messenger salla Allah a`lyhee wa sallam in his bed fearlessly. They did not care except for preserving the gift that they communicated to us. Are we maintaining, applying and observing the gift? We need to take this opportunity and renew the pledge with Allah, polish our Niyah, and move forward In sha a Allah putting forth the amount of effort that had been taken 1400 years ago.

Narrated under the authority of Ibn A`bbas, that the Messenger of Allah blessing and peace be upon him said: "Whoever appointed an employee from among Muslims while knowing that there is another one who better deserves this position, more knowledgeable about the Book of Allah, and the Sunnah of His Prophet, then he betrayed Allah, his Messenger and all Muslims" (reported by Bayhaqy in his Sunan)

(Reported by Alhakem) The Messenger of Allah said: "Whoever appointed a man for a position from among a group of people knowing that they include one who is more pleasing to Allah, he would have betrayed Allah, His Messenger and Believers"

Narrated under the authority of Yazid Bin Abi Sofyan saying: Abu Bakrassdeek told me when he commissioned me to Sham, O Yazid, you have relatives, be warned against favoring them for leadership positions, this is what I m mostly concerned about you for, as the Messenger of Allah said: [whoever is appointed in charge of a matter of the Muslims, and assigned over them a leader by favoritism, Allah's curse shall befell him, Allah shall not accept from him neither Sarfan (repentance) nor a`dlan (compensation)

Narrated under the authority of Anas Bin Malek may Allah be pleased with him, he said, the Messenger of Allah, blessing and peace be upon him said: " Whoever becomes only preoccupied with Akhirah (Day After) as goal and target, Allah Shall grant him sense of sufficiency in his heart, constant support and assistance in every aspect so that he would be saved against distraction and wasting time and energy, Dunia shall forcibly come to him and would not need to exert much effort to attain it, but whoever makes Dunia his goal and target, Allah Shall bring his poverty very close before his eyes (his constant need would be quite determined and settled before his eyes), would be inflicted with distraction and disperse of his coherent matters, and shall not attain from Dunia except that had been destined thereof" (reported by Termidhi)

Bismillah

as salam alykom

Very useful source:

http://www.kalamullah.com/Books/Purifica...heSoul.pdf

Bismillah

as salam alykom

Alright Diha, it is not that I m being curious, it is that I attended an election's campaign training and they referred to Indonesia as a similar case to Egypti.e Muslim majority country, long dectatorship regime, youth revlution. They said that economy grew tremendously and boosted whereas I met an Indonesia young woman working as maid here, she was explaining how poor they are and the level of poverty they are suffering.

I wanted to learn from someone like you about the real situation, if this level of poverty is prevailing, how come they claim an economic growth and boost??