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Posted by Muslimah - 05-10-2004, 06:29 AM

as salam alykom

welcome to our board brother Gabril

may Allah makes your stay here beneficial for u and us ameen

Posted by Gabril - 05-09-2004, 01:08 AM

that was a nice post I found it very entertaining to read

I would say on the one hand it sounds as though nobody was willing to wait until she made her own decision, but one thing to remember is keep in mind that gentle encouragement works wonders in getting what you want to be done, done

Posted by NaSra - 05-05-2004, 02:14 AM

I have little muslimah's in my family who are only 4 years old and they don't even need to be reminded when leaving the house to put on a hijab.[Image: smile.gif]

That's really not something that a child does within a day or even weeks, It comes from Adaab and Akh-laaq, it comes from the observation that little kids do on their parents from the day they are born. When the mother fears Allah and sets a good example for her daughter the daughter will want to become like her mother.

If you wear a hijab and you have intentions to please your community or because you fear your brother or father, I don't think that Allah will give you rewards for something that one does without a good intention and without sincerity.

and the person who said let them have their childhood, [Image: rolleyes.gif]

My cousins run faster then other children without hijab, they play just like other children. Modesty does not stop a child from having fun, it actually makes them grow as good human beings, who have shyness and self-respect for their body.

unlike the western mother who walks next to her daughter in public with a mini-skirt, you think that little innocent girl will not follow her mothers foot-steps one day? She will and by the time she is grown up the word "Modesty" will be something that is Odd and strange. Go figure...

There is a saying where I come from, " You can only shape a tree when it's small and young, once it grows, it'll grow into a certain direction and you can't change it then"

thats my 2 cents

(Hamd)

Posted by Muslimah - 05-03-2004, 11:48 AM



Quote:<i>Originally posted by SisterJennifer </i><b>.  Maybe there is a difference between my culture and yours, but when you see these little ones so inspired by their faith we should feel happy, they are our future.</b>

~Jennifer
(subhanall

this is very much true, people usually get inspired and make dua for them. Mash aAllah

I was about to split the thread starting Purgetroy's second post talking about his own experience and start a thread on partent/ children relations. what do u think and we bring Ayahs and hadeeth.

It is worth it, Purgetroy I expect u to do research in Quran.

Posted by Dan - 05-01-2004, 10:52 PM

Bismillah

As salam alaikum

I agree with Sister Jennifer. From the brothers who I have met, their young daughters will wear a hijab because they want to wear it. One young girl even got upset because she wanted to put one on when I visited and he told that she did not need to wear one.

I also agree that one should not FORCE a child when they are not old enough. I believe that the best way that a parent can encourage their children is to be a good example. A father can tell his son to go to the mosque to pray, memorize qur'an, and not listen to music, but then pray fajr at home, say he's too busy to learn more qur'an, and listen to the radio in the car. The son sees what the father DOES not what he says. The same works for mothers and daughters. When a girl sees that her mother wears her hijab as a sign of dignity, purity, and womanhood, then she will want to wear it for the same reasons. If a mother complains about what a burden the hijab is, then the daughter will see it as a burden as well.

Even though my father was not a muslim (nor I at the time), he had a beard. As a young boy, I could not wait to get a beard going. When I learned that men are supposed to have beards, I had little trouble adapting to the facial hair because I looked up to someone who had a beard when I was younger.

The time to wear a hijab will be apparent to the girl when the time comes from my experiences. Seventh grade is not applicable to the girls who are developed in fifth grade. It may also be too early for some girls. Brothers have told me that when their sisters were left alone to decide to put on the hijab, it meant more to the women. The reason that the girl wears it is for Allah alone, not parents, husband, or anyone. Children should be guided while they are young so when they do want to make their own decisions, they will make the correct ones.

P- Perhaps some of the things you do are just to declare some type of individuality from your parents? I can see why this would happen if they are as over protective and ruling as you say they are. This should be a warning to parents as well. If you do not let your children grow up little by little, they will seem to suddenly tear away from you. Like it or not, all children grow up.

I think I have rambled enough. Allah Forgive me for my shortcomings and if I have offended anyone. Please forgive me.

May Allah Guide and Protect us all

As salam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu

Posted by SisterJennifer - 05-01-2004, 09:19 PM



Quote:<i>Originally posted by Purgetroy </i><b>All what I said is that I find it disgusting to force little girls to wear an object who's purpose is to keep away lustful eyes. Each age has its thing. For the young ones, it is a time for fun and laughter for it will never come back again. From grade 7 upwards, it is secondary stage where you start learning and building your personality. THEN, maybe you should introduce the hijab.</b>

Period.
Purgetroy, I dont wish to argue with you, but if a little one is wearing a hijab, it certainly does not prevent her from having fun and laughter as you suggest it would. Alhumdulilah I work in an Islamic school where I see many young girls who like to wear it, and nobody forced it, they do it by their own choice, and yes they do look to mothers and others as role models, but also here in America another thing is happening: You see some of these young ones telling they are proud to wear it because they want all people they meet to know they are a Muslim. They are proud of their faith, and it is very inspiring to see this in the young ones, and I pray they never lose this love for Islam that is inside them. Maybe there is a difference between my culture and yours, but when you see these little ones so inspired by their faith we should feel happy, they are our future.

Aside from being a tool to lower the gaze, I see here in our part of the country where Muslims are not predominant, seeing the girls in hijab also works as a great tool for dawah. And when the one wearing it is full of this happiness of who they are, they wish to share that happiness with others. Alhumdulilah the kids really are amazing.

And my apologizes if I sounded harsh with you. I should be more gentle, and I am sorry.

May Allah guide us all and make us better Muslims. Ameen.

~Jennifer

Posted by Muslimah - 05-01-2004, 09:19 PM

as salam alykom Purgetroy

there is much difference when we say to instil Islam into children and rip off their freedom, for to be honest we are not free, we are slaves but slaves to what that is the difference. U might be a slave to Allah, and only Allah. The other alternative is very ugly, to be eslaved to yourself, desires, money, fame name it.

Now since parents are accountable before Allah about their children, they are commanded to instil what is halal and what is haram. A child must learn from young age to observe Allah's rule. U know why? simply because when he goes to England alone, he will still observe Allah's rules who is there and everywhere.

Hope I made sense.

[Image: smile.gif]
Posted by Purgetroy - 05-01-2004, 06:08 PM

@Sister Jeniffer: Where exactly did you conclude that I discurage anyone from doing anything. As for me, when I have a daughter inshallah, I will keep it to her wish whether she wants to wear the hijab or not.

You can force someone to have the hairstyle you like, to dress the way you like, to put the perfume you like, but sooner or later, you will die or become too far away to keep your control over that person that that person will finaly find a freedom in release from your clutchs.

Take me for example. I'm a boy who's been spending the last 6 years in this misrable house of my parents. The only time I go out is to school and back again. In a closed country like Saudi Arabia, my parents are making things even much worse by trapping me in this house. Not only that, they dont like me to have my long hair, they dont like the music I listen to nor do they like the way I dress (I only wear black).

When it comes to me, after about a month I will be off to England for university. What will I do? I'm going to grow my hair twice as long. Ever heard of goths? Yes, that's exactly what I will look like. The only difference ofcourse is that I wont turn satanic [Image: rolleyes.gif] .

For me, I love my parents, but I dont believe in their control over other people, especialy when they reach a certain age. If I dont believe in what they do to me, then they shall never be able to force it on me. Maybe temporarily, but sooner or later I will shoot back and for some people that might have weak self control, they might shoot back very hard into going against their religion even.

For my daughter, I will teach her, but I will leave the choice up to her in the end. I will tell her why hijab is important and I will show her the beauty of Islam. But in the end, no one except God can force her to do anything. If I force her to wear hijab in my presence against her will, God knows what she will do in my absence.

In the end, the way you raise your daughter is up to you. If she's happy, then good for her. All the better. If she's not...well I dont want to tell anyone how to do their job. Its your business.

Finaly, dont tell me shut up cause I never tryed discouraging anyone. All what I said is that I find it disgusting to force little girls to wear an object who's purpose is to keep away lustful eyes. Each age has its thing. For the young ones, it is a time for fun and laughter for it will never come back again. From grade 7 upwards, it is secondary stage where you start learning and building your personality. THEN, maybe you should introduce the hijab.

Period.

Posted by Muslimah - 05-01-2004, 03:21 PM

as salam alykom

Like I said Jennifer it needs training, and true most of those girls who wear it at a young age, it is their choice they usually see a role model in the mother. I have an american friend here who wears niqab, her two 11 and 9 years willingly asked her to put them in niqab Sobhan Allah. They are usually not forced. Although I forgot to bring an important point on my last post, parents being responsible before Allah, at the age of maturity they must command the girls to wear it.

Posted by SisterJennifer - 05-01-2004, 01:45 PM

Asalaamu alikum,

I am a mother of a young girl. We should be supporting our young girls, not trying to discourage them. If you see one you think is too young, please keep your mouth shut. You don't know her heart, and she could be very happy. Weather you agree with it or not, those kids are not doing anything wrong, and they certainly are not harming you. So if you cannot support your young sisters, just stay quiet.

Show our youth that we are brothers and sisters and that we can reply on each other for support. Treat them well and with respect, you can learn from them and they can learn from you, and insha Allah they will be better than the current generation.

~Jennifer

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